Forget Yourself
My wife and I started having children in 2005 and we quickly learned that kids change everything, and if we were going to succeed we were going to have to give up some things. Basically, having kids taught us that life isn't all about us anymore.
When we had babies, sleep seemed to be a rare and illusive luxury that we couldn't afford anymore. As our kids grew, food would suddenly disappear off our plates in order to feed two hungry and growing boys who eat like a couple of Tyrannosaurus Rex. And as our boys got older, time became so scarce that my wife and I had to manage our schedule like a Fortune 500 company in order to get our kids to the places they needed to be on time.
Don't misunderstand me, I am not complaining...I'm actually growing. In the years I have been a parent and foster parent I have learned that real love isn't easy, but it is worth it. I've seen the tremendous responsibility of raising children and realize that God has entrusted an eternal life into my care. I now strive to operate out of deep love instead of anything else that may be superficial.
“ If you are wise, you’ll forget yourself into greatness.”
Jesus Christ once said, "He who finds his life will lose it" (The NKJV Bible, Matthew 10:39). This ought to be the foundational principal for any parent, grandparent, or even those who want to serve others well. When we put the needs of others above our own, that is the place where true love blooms.
I appreciate the words of William Arthur Ward, who wrote, "If you are wise, you'll forget yourself into greatness. Forget your rights, but remember your responsibilities. Forget your inconveniences, but remember your blessings. Forget your own accomplishments, but remember your debts to others. Forget your privileges but remember your obligations. If you are wise, you will empty yourself into adventure."
His words apply so well to the purpose and power of parenting. If we forget ourselves and live for the adventure of discovering real love, we will become wise and great parents that naturally reproduce that same love in our children.
From my observations recently it seems that selflessness is being lost in the wake of a selfie-generation who are used to instant gratification, quick information, and fast food. Everything happens at a touch of a button. Love doesn't grow instantly. Love grows in the soil of perseverance. Yet, one day the selfie-generation will become parents, and their children will test their patience, depth of commitment, and character. Will these future parents have the grit to stick it out and love their spouse deeply, selflessly raise children, and forget themselves into greatness? I believe they can.
I believe anyone can succeed as a great parent if they turn to the ultimate example of love. Jesus Christ was the embodiment of love. He is what love looks like, acts like, talks like. He is the Son of God, Who is love. When the Apostle Paul famously defined love in 1 Corinthians 13, he was describing Jesus. The picture Paul paints in those supernatural words should never become just wall art, but become a part of our very being. Love is supposed to be our greatest aim and highest aspiration.
Let me pause here and talk to the mature mother, father, grandpa, or grandma who are reading these words—those of you who have raised your children and you couldn't be more proud of them. Well done! I hope you see Jesus, the Son of God, standing and applauding you. I hope you know that one day you will receive an eternal reward in heaven for every act of love you performed from a sincere faith and pure heart. God's makes it clear that He rewards those who obey His Word and love..
Our children deserve to see love modeled in front of them by their parents. Our example is what will liberate them one day. David Webster, a WWII hero once wrote, "The things which are precious are saved only by sacrifice." What is more precious than our children?
Take some time this week to study 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Don't just read it. Don't just memorize it. Digest it spiritually, and practice it on your children. Be patient, be kind, be content, be humble, be thoughtful, be truthful, be hopeful, be great.
By Joseph E.O. Mead